Sitting in the room of which its walls held memories, tears, singing and dancing attempts as a teenager, I tried to keep my thoughts with my eyes that travelled through the sea of words in the current book I am enjoying.
My mind insisted that it takes over and although my eyes visited the lines, it saw symbols and fished for words that could answer the thoughts my mind was addressing to the jury of silence in the room. “They asked if your married? Did you see their faces? You are going to be left alone if you don’t do something…” the usual script started screening in my skull, with no critics allowed to negotiate the point of the film.
Looking for means of an exit door away from the screen hall, I smiled to my lamp that seemed to place a spotlight on that corner of my room which was used to create my own world with the help of ponies and Barbie dolls, with the heroine always being my favourite Barbie that wore a business suit and roamed the world and driven a car.
“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” ~ Olin Miller
“Maybe if you start negotiating your values and bend for society, you might find someone?” argued my friend once while another blamed my choice of residence for my lack of suitors. My mind thought “It’s your fault all the way, destroy the suited Barbie and you can be free” but I couldn’t, I just wept when that ghost came to me.
I recall the times I blamed my parents, my circle, my mind, my beliefs, then the assuring voice of my parents came to crash it “You need to believe in yourself to illuminate the path for him to find you”.
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” ~ Randy Pausch
I felt relief, studying the faces I meet and the friends I know and knew, some are also haunted but do not admit it. I decided to ask the ghost to let me go. Check mate, or more accurately, Check King…for now.
“Eat what you want but dress as people want” ~Arabic Proverb
She dusted the suited Barbie, placed her in her flashy car, and allowed her to drive off through the room’s rug. She held a future plan she made long ago, with a check mark drawn recently next to number 4 Be independent and drive a car, number 5 Enjoy your career, number 17 Never settle for less than what you want.