To the hours, minutes and seconds of my life,
For the past 27 years, you have been there to guide my steps. You ticked and towed, you told me when to speed up my pace and when to slow down.
I got angry on you often, cursing the “not enough” time for being late or not being able to do my chores.
You were one of my reasons for stress, feeling that if I do not do the dishes by 8.30pm, something bad will happen and I would have sinned!
You were also one of the reasons for sadness, looking at you move away from me as I feel my time is passing with no companions on lonely days.
You were sometimes the reason for my happiness, when my awaited date, event or party calls in with the move of your arms.
I always looked at you for guidance, no matter the emotion.
But I recently looked at you with rage, as I felt you were stealing something I hold dear – my family.
I faced you for long in a white room urging you to stop and allow my dear mother who was hospitalised to be better, but you refused.
I reminded you of how obedient I was to your ticks all those years and hope this can be considered a favour, but you just said ‘I cannot change time’.
Thankfully, you ticked at 11am seven days later to the release of my mum from hospital and the beginning of a new relationship with you.
“You get what anybody gets – you get a lifetime.” ~ Neil Gaiman
One lifetime, one chance, only 24 hours a day and only 365 days a year – that is written to my name.
No one gave me a guide or plan when I was born to know how I should use that lifetime, which is the curse and beauty of being human.
But I recently read a saying that made all the sense – We are born to die.
So with the end known, I want to spend the lifetime differently.
I won’t lose a minute on stress, negativity, worthless people, excessive over thinking, prioritising people over myself or analysing.
I will look after my family, me, my health, my friends and my life plans – the ambitious and the possibly impossible.
In the end, I got a lifetime!
“Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.” ~ Sylvia Plath